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Baltimore Kinetic Sculpture Race
2022 Race Report: Tempus Fugit

Here's a Sculpture!
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Tempus Fugit

The Soda Quackers of New Jersey and Pennsylvania—reigning champions since the prior race in 2019—returned with this spectacular time-traveling motorcycle Tempus Fugit.

At the start, it looked like this. Note the large paddlewheel and overall magnificient size.

In this closeup from the above shot, note the squirrel cage is populated by two genuine simulated hamsters. As you’ll see below, the hamsters didn't complete the race, but that was no hindrance as the Tempus Fugit crew had the mitochondrial exhuberance of a thousand hamsters.

You can see the raindrops if you zoom in.

A 7-segment digital display on the front documented its time travel setting, changing as it went along.

Wait—where’s his head?

Safety-minded motorcyclists are encouraged not to ride with a scythe close to their neck. This photo north of the Maryland Science Center is the last we saw of the headless, but otherwise intact, sculpture. Before Canton, a wheel axle broke, and with no spare part the team quickly dismantled portions of the main sculpture to ride on their lead Kiddy Cart.

Here’s the next spotting: only the baby jogger remains, with the head and license tag from the original sculpture and a concerned toddler as the crew talk to the water inspector (at far right). Watch the toddler for the rest of the race.

They went to the water’s edge and, in a ceremony reminiscent of 2014’s Name Your Game, they dipped as a Kinetic baptism in the Chesapeake Bay.

Note she’s still pushing two children in this stroller with a great deal of Kinetic paraphernalia. She poshed them and those curated artifacts of Tempus Fugit across the finish line.

This is the seventh entry from the Soda Quackers of New Jersey and Pennsylvania:

For the catastrophic failure documented above, Tempus Fugit was awarded the Golden Dinosaur. This award was created by Canadian hierarchiologist Laurence J. Peter who also created the Peter Principle. While the Worst Honorable Mention goes to a sculpture lacking engineering design, the Golden Dinosaur is awarded to a seemingly-well engineered sculpture that suffers the most memorable breakdown.

The judges were impressed by the team continuing through the race with their much smaller vehicle, and presenting enthusiastic Rocky Horror Time Warp dances at Canton, mud, and the finish despite the long cold wet hours.

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Were you in the race?
Please contact Tom Jones if you have anything to add or update, or would like high-res photos of your team’s entry to hang on your wall, use as a computer background, or other purposes.
  1. Grand Champion: Chronosaurus Rex
  2. Winging It!
  3. Pinktastic
  4. Time Maker
  5. Five Sculptures from Jemicy
  6. Big Lady
  7. SP Space Cruiser
  1. Tick Tock the Croc
  2. Tröegenator
  3. PLATY-PUS Returns
  4. Cosmosaurus: Dinos in Space
  5. Ve-Fossil-Wrapper
  6. The Mad Ratters
  7. Fifi: Lost in the 60s
  1. The Flintstones
  2. Tempus Fugit
  3. Opening Ceremonies
  4. Thanks!
  5. Volunteers, Spectators & Crew
  6. The KineticBaltimore Team
4/13/2024 1:55:49 AM   4/13/2024 2:40:12 AM   1:   2:   3:   4:   5:   6:   7:   8:   9:   10:   11:   12:   13:   14:   15:   16:1   17:   18:   19:   20:   21:   22:   23:   24:   25:   26:   27:   28:   AllInOne:
The Baltimore Kinetic Sculpture Race is sponsored and run by the American Visionary Art Museum. is the volunteer work of Tom Jones.
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